I Am Reflective Parent

I feel as if I’m finally regaining some of my motherhood back at long last! simply being able to conversate with my daughter is such an amazing thing now she’s old enough to talk back and understand! I religiously read through my copy of “The Science of parenting -by Margot Sunderland” whenever i feel a slight inclination or doubt about how to manage a tantrum or my own feelings on mothering techniques, and i always learn something new to implement, or some new revelation about my own behaviours and i nip them in the bud so not to pass them onto my daughter!

It’s what i see so very few parents doing in their daily life, and yet it’s so important to look within and back to understand the present and future, to help most importantly your child to thrive… it’s the reason so many of my friends are “lost” in career.. emotion…each difference always coming back to the need to look back to see forward, its like regardless of their own or their child’s age, its something we all forget to do! Some bury their heads in their career, some have substance addictions, and if you’ve read my “mental-health-issues-prevalent-in-london” article you’ll be all to familiar with the hows and whys i think on mental health reasons; under stimulated brains with nothing better to do! and well some people choose to just not think about it… which is sad and the reason we all have such issues in our families, i don’t expect life to be perfect, i do majority of the time wish it was, but i cant help to feel that in today’s society if you don’t root out your issues the social divide will continue to widen… and it is going to come down to super intelligent Vs. super fucked up!

Saddest thing is that the older generations get the grump (yes I’m speaking from experience with my nan) about how the kids of today (I’m one of them) don’t care about the older generations, their parents or grandparents, as much as history dictates we should.. were born to look after our elders eventually… When in today’s society, slowly we’re realising with all the good intentions of our elders actually they’ve done us more harm than good-by handing down all these historical family issues that were now having to fight back against! That exact mindset of having kids to care for us in our elder years is a classic example! Which is why were now seeing a decrease in child bearers over a certain peak age, why women are choosing careers and a life over children, and why the ones not dealing with their issues are those with higher numbers of teen pregnancy’s and all the side effects that come with such demographics! some of what i write about at times mid paragraph may seem totally hypocritical but remember I’m writing from my experience which is not that of a well off person or a poor person) but that of a person who is middle ground trying to break free into the well off side..and yes i know even that causes different issues!

It’s not hard to see the blatant divides between rich-poor, young-old, even between ethnicity’s… they all have impending factors on why we make certain choices in life, (…I’m trying to write without having to give examples and im hoping all my readers are with me in the thought process with this one! please tell me if I’ve lost you and ill come back and stick an example in here!)

So final thought before my word count goes through the roof as usual!

I understand why the government is trialling or trying to implement/predict whose children will be of the higher new world order race, it feels like common sense to me for this to happen…shit if i was in some form of power or control id frigging do the same thing to protect this world and the people who had strived and worked hard to be where they are/get where their going… in their search for whatever it is we lust for in life!

I’m proud to be trying to break free of my issues, I’m sure this is going to impact my predecessors hugely, and i at times feel as if some families are a good few generations ahead of mine in this game.. but i do love my reflective parenting strategy it works for me, and when speaking with people and sharing such thoughts it’s clearly helping them for the better too, which will never be a bad thing!

I’m glad I think reflective parent!

Social Services Pressure Tactics On Vulnerable Family

I’m absolutely fuming right now, just got back from dropping my daughter off to mother dearest’s.. i had a 3 minute conversation with mother dearest where she told me she had decided to withdraw her statement to social services of giving them 2 weeks notice to get the case to court as she wasn’t going to look after her grand-daughter (my daughter) anymore.. and since telling social services they have TO mother dearest that they wont be pursuing the courts or assessing whether I’m a suitable carer or not! Mother dearest said she had come to this conclusion after seeing how upset my daughter and my sister (of the same age)  had been at the start of my other sisters holiday leave.. and said they would all end up on prozac if she gave my daughter either to me or into foster care!

I can’t explain how fuming i am… it’s not hard to work out what social services did, clear pressure tactic’s to make mother dearest think my daughter would end up in foster care! I feel so sick, a service that’s meant to be there to help has told my mother only one side to the coin, my daughter will go into care end of, I’m not even being considered as a carer let alone discussed as a possibility! What’s even worse is that my mothers solicitor hasn’t even informed her of the other avenues we would all have to go down before court could agree to my daughter going into care, like 3 months in a mother and baby unit, or daily visits from social services in my accommodation whilst the ongoing assessments are done… enough is really enough!

I can’t even vent on how non of them have any faith in me bar my aunt solicitor GP and friends, they still think I’m that crazed teenager wrought with emotional and a lack of process and understanding… wow they couldn’t be more wrong!

I just txt mother dearest saying;

“What social services have done is make you think there is no other option before my daughter could ever go into care! All to save themselves the cost of taking us to court and footing the bill! so yet again they are forcing us into court when in fact they should be! what’s even worse is that your solicitor hasn’t even told you of the drill we would have to do before my daughter could go into care i.e.. mother and baby unit etc.! this is a joke.. I’ve got a journalist on call ready to put this whole story through every national paper and GMTV chat show possible, the only thing that stops me is your privacy, i can handle the invasion but you can’t, but sooner or later it will end up in press and I’m going to have a field day ripping this case and social services apart!I think you really underestimate my intelligence and  capability’s as a mum, i don’t get why you need a judge to tell you I’m fit enough? social services are just advisor’s right? (as they keep preaching and proclaiming) so why not just take an interest in me and see for yourself how capable i am! you know it, i don’t know why you need to hear it from a judge ? what fool has to hear from a judge how capable ones child is? you have choices, but if you insist on doing it through court because you wont stand up then so be it on your peril. I’ve never been more ready or prepared i just hope you are too..? X”

I can’t even go into the psychological flip side this shows from mother dearest’s part, it fully clarifys/confirms exactly what i say about her and her lack of capable parenting, it screams using ones child to get to the parent, hysterical erratic irrational behaviour, not of sound mind! Need i say anymore?!

Ok so getting that off my chest to her has helped a little… now i really need these journalists to all get on-board with me on this… MEDIA PRESSURE IS SOOO NEEDED TO EXPOSE THIS SHODDY SOCIAL SERVICE!!

Please pass this on, re-tweet, send to all your email contacts.. someone somewhere has a big contact for me who will guaranteed make a shed load out of my case and help revolutionize social service’s procedures by exposing this! HELP!