Separated Families

Today I attended the Separated Families workshop run for parents dealing with separation issues, sitting in the meeting i could hear mothers brain ticking away as the penny slowly dropped, with every explanation of behaviour signs, exchange of experiences between parents, and the simple solutions Karen provided. I know mother left understanding more that what she came out of Mediation with, and we both managed to agree that such courses should be run in conjunction with if not before Mediation Sessions to be most productive!

The simple yet effective methods of explaining how behaviours and feelings work, using the research like Kubler Ross -Change Curve, doesn’t even leave you needing to verify his theory as it really does make perfect sense! And if you did question or unsure of how an example from your life fitted into the subject we were discussing Karen or one of her team were able to simplify your own emotions and feelings so clearly, you felt a bit stupid for not realising it yourself! Ok not even stupid..I’m exaggerating.. it was like someone re-worded your sentence and made it simple enough for a 5 year old to relate to! Being in an environment with other parents sharing their experiences and troubles was so moving, and probably for me the biggest lesson i learned in yet again keeping perspective; that there are other people in the world going through what you are, you’re not alone, and in a split second you’ve had the reality check you needed to tell you, you’re not an alien, this is fairly normal and now you can move on to find a solution to your next problem… that is some of what life is all about i suppose!

I’m still in total disgust that everything effectively positive I have had to go out of my way to find and if not funded under legal aid I’ve forces social services to pay for! and that they played no help or role in helping me find such services… i really do wonder what social services do now? ..i think i may go look their ethos up!

Back to the point; Separated Families: what an inspiring team Karen has… you can guarantee I’m now preparing a few letters to the Local Authority and all the relevant ministers in support of the benefits of using Separated Families workshops to empower and better help the everyday service user of the lower end of society, because we all know social services don’t touch families of wealth with a barge pole! And really they are the ones who need so much help, i can already foresee in families then community’s, the changes such an empowering and understanding course could bring to better peoples lives.

As always ill keep you updated with my progress on that!  …I’m off now to de-Nit my infested hair! 😀 joyus times! X

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Progress & New feelings; Doubt

There have been some huge turn around’s in my case with mother dearest, all thanks to Mediation!

I’ve started to question whether mother dearest really has turned over a new leaf.. or is turning a new one over!?

My efforts to get her to check herself seem to have worked… but i want clarification.. and think I’m going to arrange a meeting mid-week to go through the letter i wrote to her to address the issues that i raised, i want to gauge whether she really fully understands the consequences of her actions, past present and future…?

I question everyday whether her intentions and the good work between us are real or part of her “experimental behaviour” …YES I’m relating to the Kubler Ross -Change Curve!! I guess if mother slips back into depression i kind of have to accept that my path is not her path, and just help her understand again to get her back to experimenting! Mother admitted today that she often feels as if i parent her, and our roles are reversed and have been for a while… (all revelations brought on by the Amazing Karen Woodall and her team running the workshops at Separated Families!!) I really hope she doesn’t slip back and manages to keep climbing up to integration!  I want her to reclaim her motherly role to me.. better late than never!! However i am always sceptical, I don’t want to be hurt again, and I don’t want my daughter to be used as a pawn or resented! I know I’m so close now to getting her back it literally is down to her and how well she adjusts to the new routines, and how stable i keep her and her routines… I don’t need any distractions or cock up’s right now!