Social Services & Court ..help me

The day before court mother dearest decides she wants nothing to do with me, wants to keep my child and not have to answer to anyone.. Is this woman actually mad?!

She wont tell any of this to social services though, infact she keeps playing the hard done by grandmother who is just trying to care for her grand-daughter, whilst her bully of a daughter (me) makes her life hell.

What the hell am i supposed to do?? My hands are tied behind my back now on this.. I have no way of proving otherwise, no way of proving what is going on (other than bugging her house with some sort of recording device..which is highly difficult given finances and the fact im again not allowed into the house!), and all the while my daughter is caught in the middle being used as a pawn  by my mother who cares so little for her needs, her real needs, the need and right to be loved unconditionally by all of her family! My mother is so far up her own arse its unbelievable, and the most selfish thing i have ever experienced!

Whats worse is that court is tomorrow, and the fact that communication has broken down between mother dearest and i, and that this is being allowed to come above the  welfare of my daughter as overseen by social services! The outcome of not being able to mutually agree (that’s how the court see’s it, even though it is mother dearest being difficult!) results in the judge having to make a decision above everyone, and that could result in my daughter being put into care forever. Purely on the grounds that life in a dysfunctional family will be detrimental to my daughters welfare.

My only witness, my brother (whom is still being abused by my mother aged 21) can’t and wont back me up on anything that jeopardizes his security, the security of being able to run back to mummy if life with his fiance falls apart.

Do you understand where i am coming from now? I literally cannot do or prove anything!

This is why and how the social service’s and family law courts are failing children here in UK at an alarming rate.

Now give me some advise and tell me how i can change the system that is failing my daughter?

How do i get my daughter back before she is lost completely?

Comparison 24

  1. I pay bills -I don’t get an education
  2. I fight for my daughter -I don’t visit the gym
  3. I scrimp and save – I can’t rely on bank of mum or dad
  4. I hoover out my frustration -I can’t lye about in my own mess
  5. I cry at night -I can’t hug my mum or dad
  6. I feel guilt over everything – I don’t have a carefree attitude
  7. I soak away in my bath tub -I can’t visit beaches
  8. I drink fizzy water -I don’t binge drink in Oceana
  9. I sing whilst washing dishes to the radio – I don’t get to do karaoke
  10. I have a pay as you go mobile – I can’t afford a contract
  11. I paint my own nails – I wish i could afford manicure’s
  12. I sew curtains & do DIY – I don’t have a mum/dad/nan to do it for me
  13. I’m on benefits – I don’t have the privilege of having a job
  14. I go to counselling – My friends don’t know how to help
  15. I cook culinary corned beef & cabbage -Roast beef isn’t on my menu
  16. I buy my clothes on Ebay -I don’t buy designer clothes
  17. I walk awkwardly into school -I cant walk past and laugh at memories
  18. I have meetings with my solicitor -I don’t ever get compensation
  19. I don’t celebrate my birthday -My wishes have never been answered
  20. I wont drive a car -I fear who i may run over in anger
  21. I can’t have a boyfriend -Let alone a 1 night stand or husband
  22. I get power cuts -I dont get to see strobe lights in ministry of sound
  23. I save my pennies -I cant throw them in a wishing well
  24. I am 24 not 44

Pre Court Tenseness

A week away from being back in court for the case, and again im faced with another bias fabricated report.. thank god i have a decent solicitor and friends who can calm my frustrated tears fearful that i am about to be slaughtered again by the lovely bastards that are social services!

This time they new social worker has slipped up, hopefully discrediting her whole report by writing that she asked my 5 yo daughter whether she wants to stay with mummy for 7 days, to which my daughter replied no i want things to stay the same. Then got emotional that night saying if i live with you will i never see nanny or my aunties again? And of course i reassured her that would  never happen and explained she would get to spend weekends with nanny and aunties, or have sleep overs here.. which sorted that out!

The whole report is clearly rushed, spelling is awful and she makes no reference to my recent assessment from the mental health team who decided they were happy with my self sought counselling, and determination to get to family therapy with mother dearest, and saw no reason for me to have CBT despite social services insistence on the basis of a report 2 years old. -I told them i progress fast 🙂 ..The onus through the whole report is a clear character assassination, not an assessment of my parenting skills or progress to date, i would like to point out that social services have not asked me to do anything more than chase up therapy which i have done very successfully! It also makes me out as very supportive or sympathetic to mother dearest situation (again why do they think i have to mother my mother in some role reversal?) Thankfully i have 3 professional supporting letters contradicting her whole report.. if this doesn’t get me residency back then the shared residency we will settle on will see that social services have no input into arrangements mother dearest and i make from then on regarding changes to increase my contact/responsibility!

As ive been legally advised; they didn’t take you to court then, so they certainly wont now! You just have to tow the line with your mum in family therapy and that will enable you to have your daughter back. I’m still speechless as to why my incompetent mother still gets to dictate my life? I’m 24 now.. this has long gone further than a joke! Especially when my mother is getting donation food bags over christmas due to not having any money, when as it clearly states in this lovely report; She is in receipt of income support and child & tax benefits, lives with her husband who works and receives £50 per week from her working son as a contribution towards board and lodgings, she is also in receipt of housing and council tax benefits. Yet kicks up a stink when i question why she can afford to go on holiday yet cannot afford to buy my daughter new clothes? And manages to get the social worker believe i am bullying her, to which the social worker writes up as me projecting my issues onto mother dearest! This woman is a joke!!

Nevertheless all my supporting letters (including one from my brother stating he gave her over £700 in the space of 2 weeks not the £50 as stated!!-He has since moved out) will show the judge what a useless piece of crap social services are, and how capable i am of parenting despite their reported misconceptions.

I have to put a lot of my progress down to my amazing aunty who went and qualified as an NLP therapist to help me through this, it’s still an emotional battle at times, but it gets easier everyday as i learn how to fully trust myself and let go of all those safe nauseating feelings that kept me a prisoner of abuse. I know i wouldn’t have got this far without some radical non NHS therapy, i would never have been able to afford NLP and i am forever grateful for my aunt’s wisdom & love.

It isn’t a happy ending yet…. I still have this case to win, and a fight with all the other parents who have fallen victim to the corruption in social services and family law to revolutionize this debilitating system.