Progress & New feelings; Doubt

There have been some huge turn around’s in my case with mother dearest, all thanks to Mediation!

I’ve started to question whether mother dearest really has turned over a new leaf.. or is turning a new one over!?

My efforts to get her to check herself seem to have worked… but i want clarification.. and think I’m going to arrange a meeting mid-week to go through the letter i wrote to her to address the issues that i raised, i want to gauge whether she really fully understands the consequences of her actions, past present and future…?

I question everyday whether her intentions and the good work between us are real or part of her “experimental behaviour” …YES I’m relating to the Kubler Ross -Change Curve!! I guess if mother slips back into depression i kind of have to accept that my path is not her path, and just help her understand again to get her back to experimenting! Mother admitted today that she often feels as if i parent her, and our roles are reversed and have been for a while… (all revelations brought on by the Amazing Karen Woodall and her team running the workshops at Separated Families!!) I really hope she doesn’t slip back and manages to keep climbing up to integration!  I want her to reclaim her motherly role to me.. better late than never!! However i am always sceptical, I don’t want to be hurt again, and I don’t want my daughter to be used as a pawn or resented! I know I’m so close now to getting her back it literally is down to her and how well she adjusts to the new routines, and how stable i keep her and her routines… I don’t need any distractions or cock up’s right now!

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