Mental health issues prevalent in London

This post was spurred on by this article;

I love the articles churned out by the Children and Young People Now team, they are for me a daily source in keeping updated with all the press clippings and quoting’s  from these ridiculously out of touch people running our vital services that affect our children of the future… but this article actually made me laugh out loud!

Doesn’t take a genius to work out that living in city causes mental health issues! City’s were let me remind you built for industrial purpose’s, for the business man era, not for raising family’s! Of course everyone wants a better life, and city’s do give you the most oppertunity’s…but jeeze come on its not going to give you as much pleasure as living on the coast or in a more suburban town…and that’s coming from a Londoner with mental health issues, experienced 1st and 2nd hand domestic violence who wouldn’t dream of living anywhere else! (aside from a nice beach hut on an island like Hawaii) And I’m sure if you ask  anyone else living in the capital they will tell you exactly the same.. and what really hit home is that of all the statistics being churned out over this election, today’s had to be the most obvious!


Before you all start ranting at me; I know government has to have a statistic to speak about a subject as such, but come on.. all they ever do is churn out statistics! and talk about how bad it all is, and then pump funding into further research on the subject, instead of pumping those funds into community’s or services already or soon to be established with proven track experience in change.

But Oh wow…their figures are underestimated, umm isn’t it the office of national statistics job to make sure they have  figure’s on everything?

And agencies are failing to assess… Who the hell is running these agencies? agencies such as social services? …morons?

Or maybe the morons in the agencies and the people who do churn out figures are working against an outdated system? Really is it that hard to work out?

Well done to Andrew Christie,who  invested in training professionals to identify such issues; If only someone could train our soon to be new prime minister how to overhaul an outdated parliament so that this generation of people with mental health and substance abuse issues get sterilised  and don’t have (more) kids who grow up with no hope. (yes i do endorse the American company paying substance abusers £200 to be blog post coming soon)

The London Safeguarding Children Board is finally bearing some fruit… well its about bloody time!

Shadow children’s minister Tim Loughton  wants to see all the evidence and draw some proper empirical conclusions about what’s happening. -GREAT yes lets fund more research, instead of just asking the people who use these services or maybe the people who already have shed loads of these figures such as the NSPCC?

gosh..i could go on..i hope you get my drift!


Letters To And Fro

I got a letter from my maternal grandfather…sent to me via the social worker?! Perplexed as to why he didn’t just get my address of mother dearest.. anyhow so its take me 2 weeks to read! not because its long..6 pages isn’t that long is it? LOL mainly because the first line after addressing me was; Their once was a king named Solomon… do i need to go further? I wont, but after finally reading it i saw yet another persona of mother dearest’s except this is the persona of my grandfather she borrows from time to time, wonder if i borrow my parents personality’s? GOSH I HOPE NOT!! I probably don’t need to explain how i feel about this revelation… they don’t shock me anymore, it just deepens the understand of the work I’ve got cut out to make things work in this family!

After being rialled by my grandfathers ramblings i sat back (yes in the sun of a local park, with some tunes playing in my ear to help the mood) and looked around me, i wondered if anyone in this park right now had problems with their family like i do, from the housewife’s picnicking with their children, the dads playing football with their sons, OAP’s reading a book or lapping the park 10 times before admiring a tree.. i figured out that they all probably do in their own extent, and so with this thought in my head i wrote my response to my grandfather, ignoring his hysteria slandering and abstract relations of practically every holy book to my life and doings as the child he once knew, as a woman; a mother and with an open mind and heart. I posted it today and will stick it up here when i can be arsed to type some more!

I do wonder what he will write back? …if he’ll be able to not lecture the sarcastic adult who wrote him back with a taste of his own medicine.. i didn’t give him any examples except his own sound advise… i do make myself laugh!

He told me i was in love with my own intelligence without knowing it? perhaps i am.. or maybe i have a brain and just use it unlike the OAP’s he’s surrounded by in his hillside villa!

Boderline Unhealthy

I can hear my neighbours talking outside, points of conversation are as follows

  • Renting flats out;they don’t even fathom that actually some people have bought their council flats and are allowed to rent them out privately… in OAP world everything is illegal, including not giving the renters use of the allocated shed.. quick lets call a rally and complain to the council!
  • The African Grey parrot on the balcony in a cage that’s not big enough, shall we all get together and talk to its owner? or try to have a run round to get it a new cage? no lets just call RSPCA… wow so helpful!
  • Flower beds that i destroy when washing my balcony with hot water and disclosing tablets to rid the bugs that harbor and crawl in my flat and bite me… oh no one talk to her she always has something to say! DAM RIGHT I DO!!
  • Flower beds of the local pubs and the nice yellow and blue flowers they might want to copy… no originality here what so ever clearly!
  • Broken ankles and how long they take to heal now their old… gosh this is so enthralling isn’t it!

I guess what my point is that; where do we draw the line in a compensation culture state?

How much responsibility is needed and to what level before we stop trying to help?

Most importantly why do we not even bother helping and expect an authority to tell us how or what to do?

What happened to basic human rights? do we even want them anymore?

Why are we a bunch of hypocrites who call the RSPCA  yet spend our child benefit monies on our car bills, drug habits, new designer clothes instead of on our child/ren? get my drift?

Let me go and ask my local MP’s and see what they say…make them earn my vote eh!

Positive Update!

Not much seems to be changing outside of mediation.. which I’m thankful for! At least i know the changes are being brought about my me and I’m finally being listened to! As the mediator put it I’m “having to shout from the rooftops to have a say in my daughter’s life” strange thought that… the fact that a baby i created and gave birth to someone else has more rights to control! I’m steadily gaining my control back however and today feels like an epiphany has finally arrived, today in mediation Mother dearest & I agreed to the following;

  • agreed with mother that we will close mediation and seek funding for court to address my residency of my daughter
  • we made an agreement with numerous things dealing with my daughter and continuing the progress with communication between us
  • we agreed to arrange a meeting with the social worker and her managers to discuss what we have so far agreed to in mediation and to clarify together where social services stand with their involvement. I’ve emailed asking for this to happen.
  • Social Services agreed to fund a 1 day course for mother & I run by Separated Families, agreeing it would benefit us both! (as usual the idea came from me & not them… i am so going to use that in court to show my productiveness and the social services incompetence!
  • I briefly discussed with mother about sole/shared residency and she threw in that social services were advising her to get special guardianship… there are a number of matters mother & I will be considering in that final decision depending on what happens over the next 2 weeks given our agreement and need to think of future possibility’s when i get my daughter back full-time, and if and when mother moves house (in the next year & half)
  • Strangely mediation is not funded under legal aid whilst i am going through court (which is rubbish as it is a huge benefit to have!) so we have been referred to their bridges project, which will be done with the same person who did our mediation at the same place which is fab! This will be a sort of 3rd party view on the progress between mother dearest & I on our agreement, including the meetings mother & I will hold separately between us both every 3 weeks or so or in emergency’s to discuss my daughter.
  • no over night’s as yet (will be reviewed soon)

I am happy however that I’ve finally found a way to communicate with mother dearest about this & my daughters needs, and effectively take the lead as mother dearest is clearly in complete chaos (reverse parenting or what!) so establishing clear boundaries and rules has been great and will continue! Those simple things like mealtime routines, bedtime’s, clear explanations  to my daughter about what the schedule for the day is, and enforcing the naughty chair and token chart from the offset without having to threaten it! Being able to keep consistent structured and most importantly show my daughter that she is loved and to make her feel secure by both me and mother dearest (grand-mother dearest in her case! lol)

I actually was quite dubious about mediation and for this session especially as it was only the second session.. however this has only been made possible by my ability to identify clear solutions to the problems mother dearest faces especially, having the mediator tell her well actually your daughter does have a point and wording it differently has made a huge difference! I do wonder how long it could have dragged out for had i not been more forceful on bringing practical changes about as soon as possible!

Note to self; Go and get some people communication skills and brush up on body language voice tones and learn how to manipulate my conduct to get what i want to convey across…

So were finally getting back to court, mother finally admitted she needs a judge to tell her and the social workers i am capable so that no one blames her for any wrongs!

It just dawned on me again, I’m doing what social services should have done 3 years ago, and I’m not even a qualified social worker! I don’t get paid, i have to do this in order to “fix” (i hate using that word but it is what I’m doing!) my family and I’m still thoroughly disgusted at the lack of assistance social services have provided, or rather NOT PROVIDED! I will be making sure my solicitor points this out to the judge in the court case, how the majority of positive outcomes in this case were brought about asked for and demanded by me! I’m long overdue some credit!

Im an adult I’ve forgotten how to relate to kids?!

Pathetic last post on my failed update may i add before i start; realised this was because i was doing/going through some inner mental learning and understanding phase as i do quite often! it really did affect my writing badly ugh I’m going to need to learn how to fix that!

Alright so after reading this article

I realised what is going wrong in this world; adults have forgotten what it is like to be a kid; to naturally strive to make everyday a new experience, to feel different things and to try new things.

Kids are left un-channelled and results ending in antisocial behaviour as the outcome, it doesn’t take a genius to work out, we know kids want more parks, more youth centres more things to do, more activities to satisfy their constant need for experiences.. especially the ones in poverty whose parents are unable to provide them with such costly activities the wealthy can afford to do/provide their children.

This really is a big issue for me as i feel so strongly after having grown up as a child in poverty, never having had a horse riding lesson (ok so im allergic to horses but still the ideas there!) been on an all-inclusive holiday with a kids club, or skiing. let along Butlins or Pontins! (my holidays were to the grandpa’s which were more army camp than holiday!) i didn’t get an inheritance at 16..or 18 let alone 21! I hope you get the point of such activities most children not in poverty get to experience!

I do believe people shouldnt have loads of children (like more than 2) especially if they can’t financially provide these basics for them! I know this sounds hypocritical coming from a teenage mum who still doesn’t hold down a full-time job (before you jump at me on this read my article on my finances!) but believe me i am fully ready to go to work when my daughter returns to my care so i can put her in stagecoach, numerous dance classes and give her the birthday parties every child dreams of and regular holidays to the beach, camping, skiing and trips to Butlins/Pontins/Centerparks! Because your children will grow up resenting the fact you weren’t able to give them those experiences because you couldn’t afford to as their were too many mouths to feed, regardless of how happy they are to have had so many siblings, can’t afford to pay don’t let the sperm astray! (I’m going to start a whole campaign with this slogan soon! LOL)

I fully believe every child should experience a wealth of things from a young age and it is clear that this does prevent them from being involved in anti-social behaviour!

So please people in the run up to the elections really think about who is going to provide our children with the opportunity’s every community needs, like parks, youth centres and access to state funded activities like free swimming and discounted dance classes/ extra tuition clubs for the lower-income generation!

And just be a little more open and friendly to the kids who are behaving a little extrovert/attention seeking and maybe offer some productive support/help/insight/training to those you can be bothered to help!?

I wouldn’t be here if strangers/neighbours hadn’t have helped me on numerous occasions with directions, homework, work/career advise opportunity’s or just a place to chill out outside of my family home… and i intend to help every kid i come across that i can offer something to!

And i want to also encourage the kids out there to give the adults around them a reality check!

Instead of using the “but you don’t know what its like growing up” line

Try something a little more specific like; ” I don’t have a social club i can attend, how about you build us one so we can contain our noise in a productive enviroment instead of your flat stairwell!”

And wow god help the OAP’s which are in ever-increasing numbers these days.. maybe we need to start giving them lectures on understanding why the kids like to listen to loud music in their headphones, or why they get excitedly loud on the bus during school times? and perhaps if kids saw their grandparents more often from a young age we wouldn’t have a generation of OAP’s socially excluded from most families and left in care homes to rot!

I’ll leave you to chew on those thoughts! as ever do let me know what you think!!!!!!

Pathetic try at an update on my case

Had the meeting with the social worker and her manager yesterday.. oof they really think their so clever, trying to pick my mouth apart for clues on my weaknesses.. so they coughed up and managed to squeal out that because mother dearest had revoked her statement on relinquishing care, they have no need to take us to court now! I made it very clear i thought it was extremely convenient that they should talk to mother dearest  and all of a sudden she revokes, they went on to explain that their legal advise had been that they could override my parental responsibility by going to my mother who has residence and asking her to agree to foster care, so leaving me with no input in my own daughters residence! and by then id heard it all, i told them so you bullied and lied to my vulnerable mother…nice work! all to save yourself the costs of going to court! i take my hat off to you. Where the manager responded with ” we generally take families to court to put children in care, not to keep families together!” QUOTE OF THE CENTURY! After that i didn’t need them to say much else, i vetted them some more and of course had the conversation recorded, so you can guarantee that quote will be out on british media by the time case if closed..whenever that may be!

Had mediation today, and have managed to get out of mother dearest an extra 2 days in the Easter holidays with my daughter.. what a joke, but im glad i got something out of our first mediation session!! Hearing her ramble on and try to find a justification as to why she feels she can’t simply just give me my daughter back or work towards that by the end of this year was soo feeble, and wholly reflected her inability to take responsibility for her actions, blaming social services and the psychotherapy recommendation made by unbiased medical evidence (my gp notes were disclosed mother dearest’ weren’t) clearly refusing to think very deep about anything, especially how uninformed she is with her shoddy solicitor! but i guess anything is as good as you give so i suppose if you look at it from that point of view the solicitor and social services are great reflections of her as a person.. constantly changing minds, thoughtless, reactionary and lacking that push that drive most to become succesful!?

This is where i should probably save and come back to further tomorrow but then that wouldn’t be reflecting my mind at this current time.. its tired right now.. im deflecting onto the carbs! *pick up on the sarcastic tones here*

Night X

Social Services Pressure Tactics On Vulnerable Family

I’m absolutely fuming right now, just got back from dropping my daughter off to mother dearest’s.. i had a 3 minute conversation with mother dearest where she told me she had decided to withdraw her statement to social services of giving them 2 weeks notice to get the case to court as she wasn’t going to look after her grand-daughter (my daughter) anymore.. and since telling social services they have TO mother dearest that they wont be pursuing the courts or assessing whether I’m a suitable carer or not! Mother dearest said she had come to this conclusion after seeing how upset my daughter and my sister (of the same age)  had been at the start of my other sisters holiday leave.. and said they would all end up on prozac if she gave my daughter either to me or into foster care!

I can’t explain how fuming i am… it’s not hard to work out what social services did, clear pressure tactic’s to make mother dearest think my daughter would end up in foster care! I feel so sick, a service that’s meant to be there to help has told my mother only one side to the coin, my daughter will go into care end of, I’m not even being considered as a carer let alone discussed as a possibility! What’s even worse is that my mothers solicitor hasn’t even informed her of the other avenues we would all have to go down before court could agree to my daughter going into care, like 3 months in a mother and baby unit, or daily visits from social services in my accommodation whilst the ongoing assessments are done… enough is really enough!

I can’t even vent on how non of them have any faith in me bar my aunt solicitor GP and friends, they still think I’m that crazed teenager wrought with emotional and a lack of process and understanding… wow they couldn’t be more wrong!

I just txt mother dearest saying;

“What social services have done is make you think there is no other option before my daughter could ever go into care! All to save themselves the cost of taking us to court and footing the bill! so yet again they are forcing us into court when in fact they should be! what’s even worse is that your solicitor hasn’t even told you of the drill we would have to do before my daughter could go into care i.e.. mother and baby unit etc.! this is a joke.. I’ve got a journalist on call ready to put this whole story through every national paper and GMTV chat show possible, the only thing that stops me is your privacy, i can handle the invasion but you can’t, but sooner or later it will end up in press and I’m going to have a field day ripping this case and social services apart!I think you really underestimate my intelligence and  capability’s as a mum, i don’t get why you need a judge to tell you I’m fit enough? social services are just advisor’s right? (as they keep preaching and proclaiming) so why not just take an interest in me and see for yourself how capable i am! you know it, i don’t know why you need to hear it from a judge ? what fool has to hear from a judge how capable ones child is? you have choices, but if you insist on doing it through court because you wont stand up then so be it on your peril. I’ve never been more ready or prepared i just hope you are too..? X”

I can’t even go into the psychological flip side this shows from mother dearest’s part, it fully clarifys/confirms exactly what i say about her and her lack of capable parenting, it screams using ones child to get to the parent, hysterical erratic irrational behaviour, not of sound mind! Need i say anymore?!

Ok so getting that off my chest to her has helped a little… now i really need these journalists to all get on-board with me on this… MEDIA PRESSURE IS SOOO NEEDED TO EXPOSE THIS SHODDY SOCIAL SERVICE!!

Please pass this on, re-tweet, send to all your email contacts.. someone somewhere has a big contact for me who will guaranteed make a shed load out of my case and help revolutionize social service’s procedures by exposing this! HELP!

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