Political Letters To & Fro

I first Emailed my local MP Ann Keen

To: annkeenmp@parliament.uk
Subject: Government policy’s/guidelines on Emotional Abuse
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:47:50 +0000

Dear Ann Keen,

I am writing to you in regards to a very confusing position I find myself in regards to Social Services, their guidelines and government laws surrounding the topic of Emotional Abuse.

For the past 3 years my family and I have been actively involved with SAID Social Services as my mother has residency of my four year old daughter. I had however been seeking help from social services since the age of 15, however only at the age of 19 did I receive some. I have been seeking an advocate in regards to getting help for my mother as the family dynamics had broken down between us from when I was at a very young age, most recently coming to terms with suffering the majority of my life being Emotionally + Physically Abused by my mother.
This has now created many problems for myself, my family and social services, as standing up and speaking out against my mother’s abuse towards myself my siblings and my daughter has been extremely difficult, considering social services are finding it very difficult to prove Emotional Abuse where Physical/Sexual Abuse is not involved to the present day.
I have made numerous complaints, had untold meetings and endless phone calls with the case social worker, her manager and now most recently the director of social services, all to no avail. I have come across countless professionals including my G.P. who are surrounded by red tape and the lack of guidelines surrounding this form of abuse (Emotional Abuse) how to diagnose, treat, refer and generally deal with this widespread issue.

  • I am hoping you are able to provide me with clarity on how professionals investigate and deal with life long Emotional Abuse.
  • If there are any legislations being brought to attention at parliament to bring about reform?
  • If I can play a part in helping to bring about faster reform by highlighting my case in example across government and media platforms?
  • How I can get my family the help we so desperately need as my G.P. and social worker are unable to help?
  • If you cannot answer my questions who can?

My main concern is for my Daughter and my siblings ranging in age from 20yrs -7months, who reside under my mothers care.
We were previously involved in private law proceedings where social services forced my mother to take me to court for residency otherwise threatening to take my daughter into care, social services are choosing to remain as advisor’s, further saying I should take my mother back to court if unhappy with the way things are going. They are refusing to deal with and address the fact my mother is emotionally abusing her children and my child through her destructive patterns of behaviour.
As Court will only question why social services have not already conducted assessments/investigation into my concerns and demand that this happens, my point is that I shouldn’t have to take my mother to court to get social services to investigate or deal properly with a case of abuse.

No one has been able to show me or explain the guidelines they follow when dealing with Emotional Abuse, the only thing I have come across myself has been the Bidmans guide to torture, of which many government strategies are based, but not enforced across UK borough’s social services.
I have been unable to ascertain whether London Borough Of Hounslow Social Services have any clear policy on dealing with Emotional Abuse, through my own experience first hand with social workers and their managers who express that unless there is hard evidence i.e. child saying carer hits or makes them feel bad or views numerous videos of a child being shouted at in an unacceptable manner, it is impossible to prove Emotional Abuse based on two people’s experiences of the family dynamics as there is no solid evidence. As I pointed out some people are unaware totally, regardless of age that this is what they have been experiencing, so it is unreasonable to expect a child to articulate that they are being emotionally abused when they do not know any better. If I cannot get them to take my concerns seriously from the ages of 15-22 the likely hood of a child experiencing Emotional Abuse doing this is almost impossible.

As their are no clear guidelines for social workers who are there to protect children, G.P’s who are their to support them, the real figure of unknown Emotional Abuse in this country remains unseen.
This type of abuse plays a key part in society and explains why unrecordable numbers of children adolescents and vulnerable adults are part of dysfunctional recreations such as crime, drug abuse, alcoholism and go on to Abuse their own children and the people around them.
It is long overdue that this government address a vital element of Abuse dynamics; Emotional Abuse and fast track guidelines for it, adequately train staff to identify and address it.

We would not turn away a child who had bruises from being beaten or a child who had been sexually abused, so how is our society turning a blind eye to the children whose minds are continually beaten?

I’m actively speaking with NSPCC and E.A.S.I.E.R who are all wonderful with advice and bringing about proactive steps, however, from what I am experiencing it is not bringing about the changes required fast enough. I understand research and time is needed to introduce policies that work and are effective as Emotional Abuse dynamics require a lot of therapy mediation and involvement from all services, which are already under tremendous pressure and strain and inadequate funding. But something has to be done, an inconceivable amount of awareness is needed for this government to acknowledge it is for their best intentions that something is done and fast. I am willing to have my case at the forefront as a way to show how changes can be implemented and succeed.

I hope you will be able to help get the ball rolling and shed light on a very darkened issue so many live with, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully

Help Me Stop Her

I then emailed Ed Balls Department, after waiting 6 weeks and not hearing from Ann Keen.. determined to get an answer!

Dear Ed Balls,
Please find below a letter I’ve sent to my local MP Ann Keen, in hope to get the matter of Emotional Abuse addressed, for not only my family’s sake but also for the whole of the UK population, and the professionals left picking up the pieces! I hope you as the Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families will be better able to address my issues raised, or pass them onto someone in your department who is able to.

I look forward to hearing from you

Yours sincerely

Help Me Stop Her

And i forwarded Ed Balls the email id sent to Ann Keen.

Dear Help Me Stop Her
Thank you for your email of 21 February expressing concerns about the safety of your daughter and siblings.

You draw attention in your letter to the contacts you have already had with your local authority children’s services, and other agencies, and the concerns you have expressed to them.

I am sorry to hear that you are still worried about how your concerns have been addressed.  As you know the responsibility for ensuring that arrangements are in place to safeguard and protect children rests with the local authority and other agencies in the local area.  But in the light of your continuing worries about the safety of your daughter and siblings I am copying your letter to SAID Director of Children’s Services for Hounslow London Borough to ask that she satisfy herself that all appropriate action has been taken to ensure their safety.  SAID has been asked to confirm to the Government Office for London that this is the case.

As you are probably aware, the Director of Children’s Services (DCS) in each authority is the person responsible under the Chief Executive for ensuring that the local authority fulfils its responsibility in respect of the safeguarding and protection of children, working closely with other agencies (which also have their own responsibilities).  The Government Office is responsible for supporting and challenging local authorities and their partners to improve outcomes for children and young people in their area.

The government’s interagency guidance Working Together to Safeguard Children sets out the processes to be followed when a child is suffering or likely to suffer significant harm. This includes emotional abuse. This guidance can be found at the following website: www.ecm.gov.uk/working together.

Each Local Safeguarding Children Board has its own local safeguarding children procedures which set out what should happen when abuse or neglect is suspected. This includes emotional abuse.

Yours sincerely

Matthew English
Public Communications Unit


So I figured id get an email back like this, and I’m yet to trawl through this next document that has been brought to my attention, and again send another letter back to Mr Balls department to further clarify the local authority’s procedures, although I know they have none in place ive heard it straight from the social worker and her manager’s mouth’s. So when i have it all in writing and ive identified the black hole to the ministers, then something will have to be done… change.

One day i will get an apology.

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