So this is a little off the subject of the emotional abuse, but is part of my story and again highlights the failings of UK services for vulnerable people, because when social services placed my daughter with Mother Dearest i was 19 and technically according to government law still a child!
So i sit here wondering why if i was, under law still classed as a child.. no one offered me any HELP? This could have been a leaflet, counselling, referral to an agency, a website.. all of these i have found myself and its taken me 4 years to find them! when actually the social worker should have been able to provide me with a fellow government or charity service;
http://www.separatedfamilies.info
ww.nspcc.org.uk
http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk
THIS LIST IS ENDLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More importantly the right to be listened to, because 4 years ago no one in social services listened to me, my concerns or considered maybe with their support i would better parent my child! As id been asking for their help anyway.. it was on file, so why could/did no one help support me, through what was critically breaking point for me? But most importantly do what was right for my child!? Although her needs were foremost in the case no one considered what this was emotionally doing to an 18month old child! Social workers have endless knowledge at their fingertips on the long term impacts on a childs mental and emotional development! I was even able to pick up Margot Sunderlands; The Science Of Parenting, and after reading was horrified that this book was part of UK social service workers training/education, and yet the proven scientific evidence was not being upheld/enforced/practised in protecting children! The case social worker was even more surprised that i was able to pick up the book to read and highlight to them key area’s they were failing my child, by giving them scientifically proved scenario’s from this book and the repercussions, that were happening in my family and to my child, that they were helping worsen, that they still overlook to this day!
What they did was basically take my child place her with my abuser and leave me disabled, as professionals dealing with children; knowing how parents and children respond in situations like this, they knew i wouldn’t know what to do, or who to turn to, and instead of helping me they used my vulnerability to their statistical gain, even perhaps because they were and still are unaware of services out here in the real world that could be of use to a parent like me in this or any kind of situation! Instead the only advise i got, and have ever been given was to seek legal advise, and get my G.P. to refer me for some counselling/therapy.
Round of applause for UK Social Services!!
My child still is yet to be seen my a child psychologist, even though mother dearest & I have both requested! The only person who knows the full extent of how she has been effected is my G.P. who is caught in a system of red tape, and although social services should listen to her concerns, again what it comes down to is that system of red tape where social workers aren’t trained medical practitioners and are extremely wary of crossing the line into G.P. territory.. there are no clear guidelines for either to follow in a case of Emotional Abuse. How my G.P. will be able to back me up in court without breaking confidentiality codes on my mother (as she is the family G.P.) i have no idea.. what it’s going to unearth i cant fathom! Roll on new court case!!
You are hearing more in the media about the failings of social services and their inability to cope under a buckling system and the staff can’t work in a system that is outdated and so they can’t do what it was meant to do and protect children and vulnerable adults.. MY CASE IS LIVING PROOF OF THIS!
How much longer can this continue before someone does something to change it? ….ill address that in my next blog post!!
Helpmestopher's Blog 
Mar 09, 2010 @ 22:12:20
Well… that’s quiet interessting but honestly i have a hard time seeing it… wonder what others have to say..