Things Normal Parents Think?

So all these dealings with mother dearest, social services, my friends and i start thinking what exactly is going wrong in mothers thought process’ that she’s failing to think like the rest of us parents?!

I mean any normal parent would blame themselves for their children’s wrong doings, and internalize where they had gone wrong? question their own upbringing..and talk with their friends on the hows whats if’s and buts!
Very few children are actually really mentally ill, or suffering behaviour problems through a neurological illness, although some doctors may argue that abuse does lead to neurological problems..and in todays society were abusing our kids without even knowing it! controlled crying for instance! or forcing a child to sleep in its own bed, when in fact there really isn’t nothing wrong with co sleeping, it’s just society has become so paranoid over being accused of being a bad parent or abusing our kids we do exactly as the stereotypes tell us!

We are unknowingly shunning our children and denying them the endorphins and love they need to become healthy successful adults!

I look at mother dearest and wonder if she goes to bed crying? if she wonders if im walking home crying every time i drop my daughter back to her? If i eat properly? if i sleep well? if what she does plays on her conscience? if she’s actually really that selfish and almost narcissistic?
i wonder if she questions herself as a parent? if she is in fact too neurologically ill and disturbed by her own childhood to even fathom what the rest of us think like? but my questions on her are running few and far between because she has made herself this cold emotionless ice queen, she has no substance to me, or in my life! if i look at what she teaches me..the bad outweighs the good, and that is not a healthy way to parent your children! All the knowledge i have acquired from her has been from her own paranoia’s and need to assure herself.. entirely selfish sharing that encouraged my paranoia to rage when i was under her influence! when what she should have been doing was assuring her children.. if you cant assure yourself you definetly cant assure a child, and shouldnt dream of having children until you can do so!
The positive was entirely selfish aswell! like i was a trophy for her to show off when i appeased her..when i dressed as she wanted, when i behaved as she wanted me to!

Then i think about my father, and i know he goes to bed distraught at whats going on, i know it plagues his mind and is making him physically sick, his sheer lack of control or ability to help me with this speaks for itself, i don’t know if he thinks about if ive eaten tonight? if ive got enough monies to even get on a bus!? but i know he does worry.. and despite my efforts to cut him out and distance myself from his side of the family he still sends me messages via MSN telling me he loves me, and that he hopes im ok? he sends me my favourite Pat Metheny music tracks via email.. and occasionally when i do answer my home phone he tells me he was just calling to check i was ok! no matter how much i push him away he always reassured me of his love! even if at times i call him a psycho for shouting one minute and hanging up on me then calling back and apologising and trying to act as if nothing has happened! i have very few questions about my father because he has always assured me of his love!

the list of things a normal parent would think goes on forever.. and i just thank my lucky stars i think like a normal parent and am now strong enough to assert myself and set clear boundaries that stop those that try to undermine my parenting! ITS SUCH A RELIEF!


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