Update’s Progress & Expected Drama!

OK so I only just got my laptop back running after 2 weeks of hell without a charger! without money to buy a new house phone or to top up the mobile to call and get a replacement charger… until this week when i sold my old mobile for £25 to save my hide and hey presto 3 days later my new charger lands in… it felt like a war zone without my laptop let me tell you!

So in the space of a few weeks literally since my new year holiday stint with my daughter, communication between mother dearest and I has ground to an abrupt halt! with her stating i f**ked up the bedtime routine (she forgets every kids routine gets messy in the holidays!) and now she has to pick up the pieces, so my first weekend into Jan ‘010 we had no contact, i was going up the wall and double whammy; i had the meeting with the social worker(SW) to talk through my Emotional Abuse discovery, my aunt sat in and backed me 100% giving her side as the older sibling to mother dearest, i thought my “allegations” as the SW had put it were being taken seriously.. ill write a separate post on that whole situation for you to read thoroughly (as I’m a firm believer of seeing the whole picture to fully understand!) but as it turned out over the course of that week my “allegations” were part of a red tape area not even the SW seems to know how to deal with and so are piss in the wind on the grand scale of things! So I’m going up the wall trying to run my life from my blackberry (GOD SAVE BLACKBERRY!!) with no credit and purely email MSN and BBM as communication gateways! i managed to do it somehow.. i argued with the SW about her incompetence to safeguard my daughter and my siblings from an abuser, i cried to my doctor and scared myself i cried so much! especially when she told me she had waited 20 odd years for me to come to her with this! she apologised for the system that has let me and my family down and expressed her own experience dealing with Emotional Abuse herself and gave me her 100% backing in court or with the SW etc.. I CANT TELL YOU HOW GOOD IT FELT TO HAVE SOMEONE TELL ME I WASN’T MAD! tell me it wasn’t in my head, tell me id done/was doing a fantastic job by fighting on as i have, and to tell me i had GOT THIS FAR AS I WAS AN HONEST GOOD LOVING PERSON!

*feels the tears welling up again*

Its taken just 1 professional to give me a hand, the time and compassion through her own experiences to give me that added bit of strength to raise the level of which im fighting on, to reassure me.

So weekend rolled past, on to the next weekend and again mother dearest still hasn’t fixed the routine single-handedly, still wont acknowledge we both need to work on the routine together, now wont talk to me about anything to do with her life as “she doesn’t have to justify anything to me” as she puts it.. her husband/the step dad is also back in the picture.. so much for her “divorce” i can’t help but feel so played by mother dearest as i tried so hard to help her on that front and its all wasted energy! I’m still having on/off phone calls with the useless SW who’s telling me she is there simply to recommend and she can’t enforce any change, as there is not evidence of abuse.. and as proceedings are private all she can recommend me to do is take my mother back to court! and/or write a complaint to her manager if im unhappy with her advise! She advised me that i had no grounds to take my child from my mothers care regardless of our verbal agreements over contact as previously agreed in court as my mother would be well within her rights having residency to call the police on me and have me arrested!! So miraculously this second weekend after i threw mother dearest the back to court line, she agreed to let me have a 9.30am-5pm Saturday contact with my daughter, i also had a phone call with her the day before where my daughter asked” why is nanny going to call the police on you mummy if you come to nanny;s house? why don’t you like nanny?” my explanations were not to worry about grown up things, i do like nanny but we have some things to sort out that makes nanny be a bit silly sometimes, no police are coming to take anyone away and that I’d see her tomorrow… she wanted to talk to me about something but i could tell someone was hawking her call to me, mother dearest had already snatched the phone from her and hurled a load of abuse at me mid conversation that actually she had told my 9yr old sister that i may come round and “kick off” and how she would probably have to call the police on me and in fact it was my sister who told my daughter that our mother would call the police on me! (if that isn’t some form of manipulation i don’t know what is!?)

The list of endless stories and their depths goes on and on..to the point now where apparently my daughter has no time in her schedule to see me, mother dearest wants me out of her life in one breath and in the next says my contact can go back to normal once she has reinstalled the bedtime routine.. neither of which i believe! My daughter gave me more concerns during out short visit of my mother’s husband and his reappearance back in the family home and also her new extra curricular clubs she will be soon participating in, street dance and netball although “nanny says street dance isn’t real and don’t tell mummy” I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!! so the concerns went to the SW in yet another email.. I’ve yet to hear from. I wrote a complaint to the director of Social Services who is investigating.. unbeknown to them i did in fact record the entire meeting in regards to the Emotional Abuse and cannot wait to see the SW’s notes so i can slap the recording in all their faces and finally prove her incompetence!

I’m actually starting to get somewhere with my methods, its sad that I’m now recording every conversation/meeting with mother dearest and the SW but i really have no other way of proving what is going on without seeming petty. i just really hope this director knows what im aiming for and can help me stand to raise attention to this overlooked social issue that is Emotional Abuse and stand with me to get mother dearest the help she and so many other dysfunctional parents need!

I now have a meeting scheduled next week for all the parties to meet with my daughters school teacher to talk about whether the school has noticed any signs of EA in her.. the plot thickens!

I wonder what mother dearest is going to throw at me out of her pot tomorrow? You shall be the first to know!

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